(Worst nightmares ever! Think they had to do with Fritzl (Austrian incest/dungeon cat who imprisoned his daughetr 24 yrs and fathered 7 kids) as was discussing this situation with my parents shortly pre-bed.)

"Well," said my mother vaguely. (They just have access to USA Today - they're in Missouri somewhere - and not following the story at all closely enough) "Well, at least it didn't happen to you."

"Thanks a lot!" said my dad.


My dad, by the way, has surpassed all other neocon canvassers and obtained over 500 signatures on his Prop209 petition. He says positioning himself by the dive-thru of a White Castle was a masterstroke. My mother, meanwhile, got into a very vocal fight with a "smug, Prairie Home Companion-listening old liberal."

Since you are interested in my every movement: yesterday went on a hike at Kykuit (Rockefeller estate), got a malted in Tarrytown (served by what appeared to be a nine year old) and then played a laughable game of pool at a nearby bar. Spoke to GK4, former fiance, while en route to the hike. He was, per usual, simultaneously disgruntled and knowing about what we were doing (in this case, the hike.) Also seems convinced that I am having some kind of secret birthday party to which he's not invited, despite repeated assurances to the contrary.

"Let me put it this way," he said. "If I happen to stop by your house on Saturday night, will you be there with two hundred of your closest friends?"