Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Time Travel

As you might have guessed, the previous post actually dates from 2007. Because I am at the whim of whatever neighbor has insecure internet (today's broadcast brought to you by, I believe, Banana), I took the unusual step of writing up that last account on Word, while the emotions were still running high.

All is now okay. Slim (known at the Met as General Zog, for his resemblance to said Superman nemesis)has been working like nuts. They're putting on 'Hansel and Gretel' and Slim says, "the witch is played by this tenor in drag, with these pendulous breasts. He makes the stagehands visibly uncomfortable."

Happy New Year.

Am really at end of my rope with GK4, former fiance. I don't mind talking with his shrink. I don't mind the endless late-night conversations about his shooting himself (well, sort of.)I was happy to receive, for Christmas, the perfume he bought for that chick he was obsessed with who blew him off. I don't even mind his ex-girlfriend insisting we get a drink and then mentioning casually that she's heard I have a soft tummy. (Okay, I sort of did mind that.)

BUT. Yesterday we had plans to see 'There Will Be Blood,' with mockery in mind. The E took a while and I was about five minutes late. As a result, we couldn't find seats together, and GK4 was absolutely furious, and insisted we leave, and wouldn't be mollified even after I bought us tickets for the next showing of 'The Orphanage.' When the first Spanish title rolled out, he punched my leg, hard. Then he tried to hold my hand.

(A large man snored audibly throughout.)

I was kind of irritated and told him his conduct had been 'inappropriate.' He explained that, like the leprechaun from 'Finian's Rainbow,' he has lately been in love with every woman he's around.

Last time he visited me at work, I showed him the picture of Slim with the FT on his lap.

"That's him, all right," he said unenthusiastically. "He really doesn't need to have that paper unfolded all the way; it seems like in half would have been more than sufficient coverage. Really," he continued, "there's nothing more disgusting than one of those really long, thin penises."

When I expostulated indignantly, he said innocently that he was "just saying."

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