“One relationship doesn’t cancel out another.”

(Note: confusingly, this was written several days ago.)

(That's from this movie I'm watching, The Girl with Green Eyes , Irish, from the 60’s, very ‘real’ and depressing. May-December stuff, and Lynn Redgrave.

Feel all kinds of dissatisfaction with my life and my love life; it is very depressing to come home and find the place squalid; very hard not to resent certain people’s drug abuse and seeming indolence, even when they have been filling papers with theorems about international inflation, interspersed with the quote, “General Zog does not take orders. He gives them.”

He’d had a talk with his ex today. She knows about my existence now – as of about two weeks ago – but at that time she said she didn’t want to know anything about me, and since, although they speak semi-regularly, they never talk about anything more personal than the state of the economy (she’s a financial writer.) It does seem to me that there’s something infantile about the whole arrangement, and obscurely disrespectful to me, not that it has much to do with me. But, you know, I’m a great believer in lancing. Although obviously my own choices in these matters are unusual and questionable. My parents don’t think much of them.

He called a little later to say the fortune teller down the block was offering readings for only $2. I have a suspicion, though, that you’d need to pay more once you got there, to learn anything worthwhile. Besides which, a fortune teller in Rhode Island, who’s burning candles for me, said that if I go to anyone else it wouldn’t work. More than anything, the experience with her was so sort of sordid that it’s put me off the whole thing. Anyone would only tell me again that I need my aura cleansed, and I can’t afford anything like that. Besides which, I’m pretty sure I could do it myself with a little work.

I’ll need to borrow the cats, Owl and Abelard, from GK4, former fiance, to help with the mice. Slim is allergic so he’ll have to go elsewhere. I left my phone at home today and Slim fielded a call from GK4, who’d apparently been in some sort of altercation in a bar over the Redskins. Slim recommended he take up boxing.

Raining, and warmer. I think I need an older man.