Okay

Let's get this going, for confessional purposes if nothing else. Lower than an angleworm's belly today. First off, terrific heat wave. I caused it, by doing the can-can. Wore a new dress: white cotton and looks exactly like a nightgown. I felt very a la mode. After the shop closed, I debated walking past the flirtatious waiter at the outdoor cafe, just so the new dress wouldn't go to waste, then gave myself a shake and realized what I'd come to. Wanted to wallow in degredation, but instead just bought some cream-top Brown Cow yogurt and an overripe avocado.

Then I came home - very stuffy - and changed the dress for a real nightie, even though it was still full daylight. Had the remains of some Thai chicken and some tapioca pudding. I watched the end of Death in Venice and was as troubled as before by Tadzio's anachronistic shag, but pleased that Dirk Bogarde was one of the liberators of Bergen-Belsen. Felt bad for Mahler, being implicated as a pedophile. Then listened to some Mahler. Read a couple of deathly depressing short stories, full of remote observations and elliptical precision. Listened several times to "Walk a Thin Line" by Fleetwood Mac, even though I normally can't abide them.

Had some heartbreak today, but you'll just have to read between the lines.